I gave in to seduction by my ex-husband

Dear Veronika,
My husband left me 3 months ago, this happened by mutual agreement. We were married for 3.5 years and three times we were near separation. We have a daughter who is 2.9 years old. Our family life was filled with fights, abuse and tears. Thi was caused in part by the shortage of money. My ex husband had a difficult time in his life, he was fired from different jobs (he couldn't get along with the management), he got into car accidents (because of inattention and carelessness of the roads). As the reason for entire this served “[bytovukha]”, the shortage of money. Black strip pursued husband, him they expelled from the different works (t to it did not find common language with the authorities), it frequently beat machine (because of inattention and dare-devilishness on the road). He always me warned that if I do not calm down and become less nagging, that he will cheat and leave me. His promise is being carried out. Two months after he left us he started living with another woman. It was then that I began to have this nightmare by the name of "we don't know what we've got until we lose it". I don't live, I exist. Each minute of my life I think about his life with another woman. Several days ago he came over to see our daughter and we ended up having sex. I don't know what I should do next. Did I do the right thing that I gave into my passion?
Here here and began my nightmare by the name “we have - it is not valued, let us lose - by weeping”. Now I do not live, but there exist, each minute I think about that as it with another of [zhivet]! Several days ago it arrived at the daughter, and with it proximity occurred! I do not know, as to now be what to make? And correct whether I did enter that she did yield to passion? It is worthwhile for me to attempt to get him back or is it better to let go? Selina

Dear Selina,
Why do you need this "miracle" in your life? Is a fairy tale of some sort? Each week - a surprise? His car will break again; he will be fired from work; one day his lover will call you. Life full of excitement! Is this what you are after? You miss it in your life? In your situation I see only two omponents - jealousy and laziness. Jealousy - stemming from the fact that he so quickly forgot about you: you've been together for so long and after two weeks of separation he found a replacement. You wanted to prove something to yourself and to him - that you are still desirable as a woman to him. But please remember, every woman who will have sex with him is "desirable" to him. Especially if there are no consequences attached. And about the laziness component, your unwillingness to change your life for the better, to go forward, to build new relationships, is quite evident. Best of luck to you.
Veronika

Dear Veronika,
I met a great man four years ago (he is 28 and I am 25), almost immediately we started living together. He has a son who is seven years old now. His child lives with his parents who are relatively young. Every weekend we get to have his son over. This is beginning to irritate me. First, there is no where we can go to have fun and unwind. We can't take him to our friends with us, they would not like it. Neither can we take him to a bar or billiard, it's not a good place for children. So what we've been doing for the past 10 months is sit at home all weekend long. Our only entertainment is the playground or the park. Also, we stopped being intimate. Throughout the week we both get tired when back from work. Also, living in a one bedroom apartment doesn't help because we can't have sex with a child in the room. On the weekends his son wakes up at 7am and I have to prepare breakfast for everybody and keep the boy busy. If you advise that I speak to my boyfriend, it's is useless because he has very difficult personality, begins to heat up very quickly. What irritates me even more is that his son looks more and more like his mother who abandoned him when he was 2. Maybe somebody encountered a similar problem? I must add that I dream of having a child with this man. I will be thankful for any advice on this matter. ~ Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,
It is interesting, why do you continue to live with a man with whom you are not completely satisfied? Is it a form of masochism? No, I do understand a situation where the love is very strong and you can't imagine a life without that person, but in your case it does apply, so why do you still live with this man? Indeed, there is no love between you. The only thing that connects you two is sex and everyday routine life. So one thing isn't there anymore, sex. Isn't it time to get rid of the other thing - routine life? I completely understand that you are suffering. After all he has difficult personality, like you said. On the whole, I believe that you should search for another person. This is simply not your man. Nothing terrible. It occurs. Also, don't hurry with having children of your own. In my opinion you are not ready to be a mother. Obtain education, learn what you truly like, and find that one who is truly dear and whom you will love and tolerate even in this difficult situation (i.e. him having a child from a previous relationship). At that point you will treat children differently.
Best of luck to you,
Veronika

Plan a Romantic Dinner at Home Just for the Two of You!

If you have absolutely no time on your hands, stop by your favorite restaurant and pick up some nice dishes which you can then serve in your best dishes.

If you have time to prepare dinner fro scratch, even better! But don't let the food rule the atmosphere, it's about ambiance, not your cooking abilities!

Set the Mood
Eliminate all distractions, including unopened mail, bills lying around, unsorted laundry and clutter–these are all romance-killers.

To create a mood, good lighting is key. Everyone looks better in good lighting, candlelight will do the trick.

Choose Mood-Enhancing Music
Soft and mellow music is key to cultivating the right mood for your romantic dinner. Music without words, with a gentle rhythm that will unwind you.

Dress for the Occasion
This is very important. Make sure you dress up as if you went to the restaurant that you are trying to create at home. This will make you look dazzling and absolutely irresistable.

Think Out of the Box
Don't think that a "romantic dinner" automatically means sitting down face to face, eating. Light candles in the living room, toss a bunch of pillows on the floor and eat with your hands.

You can even make the meal together, sipping on wine while you're doing it. This will bring you closer to each other.

Incorporate Aphrodisiacs
Regardless of your plans for after dinner, include aphrodisiacs, such as oysters or honey, to stimulate your taste buds.

After Dinner
Depending on the stage you are at in your relationship, you might want to indulge in sexy games, kissing, cuddling, watching a movie together, or dancing to romantic music.

If your goal is to be intimate after dinner, make sure that your menue does not consist of heavy food items because the mood will decrease after having full stomachs. Make it light and fresh.

Connect
Most importantly, connect, love, laugh, feel butterflies in your stomach. Shut out the world completely and focus on each other.

Inspiration: Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe Quotations

• It's all make believe, isn't it?

• If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.

• I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.

• I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.

• I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.

• I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.

• I'm trying to find myself as a person, sometimes that's not easy to do. Millions of people live their entire lives without finding themselves. But it is something I must do. The best way for me to find myself as a person is to prove to myself that I am an actress.

• I am trying to prove to myself that I am a person. Then may be I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.

• People respect you because they feel you've survived hard times and endured, and although you've become famous, you haven't become phony.

• Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you're a human being, you feel, you suffer.

• I love to do the things the censors won't pass.

• What good is it being Marilyn Monroe? Why can't I just be an ordinary woman? A woman who can have a family ... I'd settle for just one baby. My own baby.

• I have too many fantasies to be a housewife.... I guess I am a fantasy.

• A career is wonderful thing, but you can't snuggle up to it on a cold night.

• It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

• It's better for the whole world to know you, even as a sex star, than never to be known at all.

• My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation -- but I'm working on the foundation.

• Acting isn't something you do. Instead of doing it, it occurs. If you're going to start with logic, you might as well give up. You can have conscious preparation, but you have unconscious results.

• A career is born in public -- talent in privacy.

• My illusions didn't have anything to do with being a fine actress. I knew how third rate I was. I could actually feel my lack of talent, as if it were cheap clothes I was wearing inside. But, my God, how I wanted to learn, to change, to improve!

• Some people have been unkind. If I say I want to grow as an actress, they look at my figure. If I say I want to develop, to learn my craft, they laugh. Somehow they don't expect me to be serious about my work.

• I'm for the individual as opposed to the corporation. The way it is the individual is the underdog, and with all the things a corporation has going for them the individual comes out banged on her head. The artist is nothing. It's really tragic.

• Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

• In Hollywood a girl's virtue is much less important than her hairdo. You're judged by how you look, not by what you are. Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty.

• An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.

• It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

• The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.

• Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature.

• Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.

• If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question I've got to follow it through. What am I supposed to do - look intelligent?

• People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.

• To a reporter: Please don't make me a joke.

• That's the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. But if I'm going to be a symbol of something, I'd rather have it sex than some other things we've got symbols of.

• Everyone's just laughing at me. I hate it. Big breasts, big ass, big deal, Can't I be anything else ? Gee, how long can you be sexy?

• Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

• Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

• It's woman's spirit and mood a man has to stimulate in order to make sex interesting. The real lover is the man who can thrill you by touching your head or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.

• Men who think that a woman's past love affairs lessen her love for them are usually stupid and weak. A woman can bring a new love to each man she loves, providing there are not too many.

• Of the nude pictures: Sure I posed. I needed the money.

• I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

• I am invariably late for appointments ... sometimes, as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.

• I've often stood silent at a party for hours listening to my movie idols turn into dull and little people.

• I restore myself when I'm alone.

• 1956 interview about her childhood: Looking back, I guess I used to play-act all the time. For one thing, it meant I could live in a more interesting world than the one around me.

Going On Vacation With Your Dating Partner

As you and your dating partner grow closer, you may be thinking about going on vacation together. The idea of leaving the familiar behind to explore a new environment with each other is exciting. You hope that the experience will strengthen the connection you feel toward one another. Plus, there’s an inherent sense of romance associated with traveling together, as you leave friends, family, and acquaintances behind. But, vacations can either make or break dating relationships. Below, I’ll explain how to make sure that your vacation is anxiety-free and strengthens the bond you share with your dating partner.

Planning The Vacation

Take the time to plan your vacation together. That will give you and your partner the opportunity to include activities that are important to each of you. This is an ideal opportunity to compromise. Plus, planning together gives you both a sense of ownership about the vacation, and it becomes a team effort in the process.

Being Flexible

At home, it’s easy to become accustomed to being in control. When you’re traveling with your dating partner, be flexible according to their needs or desires. Being on vacation means you don’t have to answer to a rigid schedule. If you or your partner are no longer in the mood to do something that you planned, don’t do it. If you want to eat at a different restaurant than the one at which you’ve made a reservation, cancel the reservation and follow your impulse. Being flexible is the key to having fun on your vacation.

Being Attentive

Being attentive to your partner is always important, but it’s crucial when you’re traveling together. Your attention is understandably divided at home between your job and other responsibilities. But, on vacation, you’re leaving those things behind. If this is your first vacation together, take the opportunity learn more about your partner, away from the distractions of home. Be attentive and enjoy each other.

Managing Your Expectations

A lot of dating couples have high expectations for their first vacation together. It’s easy to become idealistic with thoughts of romantic dinners, wine, playing on gorgeous beaches, and enjoying uninterrupted physical intimacy. In truth, traveling together for the first time can be stressful. After all, you’re in a new environment with someone whom you’re still learning about. Expecting the vacation to be a flawless romantic experience is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment.

Enjoying Each Other

The most important thing to remember is that your vacation is an opportunity to fully enjoy each other’s company and return home feeling closer to one another. It’s a chance to get away from all of the distractions of home and focus on your partner, absorbed in a new environment and sharing new experiences. By planning your vacation together, remaining flexible, being attentive, and managing your expectations, the time you spend together can strengthen the bond between you.

Source: http://www.suddenattraction.com/blog/17/going-on-vacation-with-your-dating-partner/

Inspiration from Princess Diana, to us Women

"She touched the lives of so many others in Britain and throughout the world with joy and comfort." He added, "She was the people's princess, and that is how she will stay in our hearts and memories forever. " Tony Blair

Inspiration comes from the legend of Diana. Our modern muse, our inspiration, who was a symbolist, guardian, guild and healer. She had the power to touch us with our deepest affection.


"Any sane person would have left long ago. But I cannot. I have my sons. "

"Anywhere I see suffering, that is where I want to be, doing what I can. "

"Being a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be. "

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. "

"Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves. "

"Family is the most important thing in the world. "

"HIV does not make people dangerous to know, so you can shake their hands and give them a hug: Heaven knows they need it. "

"Hugs can do great amounts of good - especially for children. "

"I don't even know how to use a parking meter, let alone a phone box. "

"I don't go by the rule book... I lead from the heart, not the head. "

"I don't want expensive gifts; I don't want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure. "

"I knew what my job was; it was to go out and meet the people and love them. "

"I like to be a free spirit. Some don't like that, but that's the way I am. "

"I live for my sons. I would be lost without them. "

"I think like any marriage, especially when you've had divorced parents like myself; you want to try even harder to make it work. "

"I think the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved. I know that I can give love for a minute, for half an hour, for a day, for a month, but I can give. I am very happy to do that, I want to do that. "

"I want my boys to have an understanding of people's emotions, their insecurities, people's distress, and their hopes and dreams. "

"I want to walk into a room, be it a hospital for the dying or a hospital for the sick children, and feel that I am needed. I want to do, not just to be. "

"I wear my heart on my sleeve. "

"I will fight for my children on any level so they can reach their potential as human beings and in their public duties. "

"I'd like to be a queen in people's hearts but I don't see myself being queen of this country. "

"I'm as thick as a plank. "

"I'm aware that people I have loved and have died and are in the spirit world looking after me. "

"If men had to have babies, they would only ever have one each. "

"If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love. "


"It's vital that the monarchy keeps in touch with the people. It's what I try and do. "

"Life is just a journey. "

"Nothing brings me more happiness than trying to help the most vulnerable people in society. It is a goal and an essential part of my life - a kind of destiny. Whoever is in distress can call on me. I will come running wherever they are. "

"Only do what your heart tells you. "

"People think that at the end of the day a man is the only answer. Actually, a fulfilling job is better for me. "

"So many people supported me through my public life and I will never forget them. "

"The biggest disease this day and age is that of people feeling unloved. "

"The greatest problem in the world today is intolerance. Everyone is so intolerant of each other."

"The kindness and affection from the public have carried me through some of the most difficult periods, and always your love and affection have eased the journey. "

"There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded. "

"They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody? "

"What must it be like for a little boy to read that daddy never loved mummy? "

"When you are happy you can forgive a great deal. "

"You can't comfort the afflicted with afflicting the comfortable. "

Are you inspired?

Dear Veronica

Dear Veronika,
My boyfriend and I (he is 24, I am 23) lived together for half a year, and I realized that it is time for us to talk about a wedding, after all we planned it long time ago. Possibly, I selected not the best moment, because our relationship at that time was a little bit tense. To my surprise, he first said that he does not love me and that he is not ready to get married. Obviously, I left him and from what thought it was over between us. After just a couple of months he called me and asked for forgiveness. However, during the time that we weren't together I acquired new friends, hobbies, and felt stronger overall, maybe because I decided to start life all over again. Nevertheless, I decided to give it another try except that this time I refused to live with him, having him stay with me only so often, prepare dinner and wath tv. I did this so he would feel the difference of being with me but at the same time without me. Recently he asked me to marry him, we set a date and are moving forward with our plans. What disturbs me is that in reality, he doesn't really want to be married, I feel like he did it because of his fear that I would leave him again. What if he changes him mind again? I am confused. Liana

Dear Liana,
You know, life in general is unpredictable. Both people in the relationship undergo changes throughout time. Therefore even if your boyfriend is the one who dragged you to get married, it is no guarantee that you will live an eternal happy family life together. I know one thing: even strong feelings will not insure you against a divorce. Marriage license (just a certificate) will not make either of your lives happier. Therefore I would advise to think thoroughly, why this wedding was necessary to you. In your letter it is quite evident that you do no experience strong and bright feelings towards your man. Then why get married? Just so you can wear a white dress and listen to the wedding march? Or simply because all of your friends are getting married, and therefore it is "time"? Or mom encourages you to do so? Personally, I consider public opinion useless and irrelevant, what's important if your life. You will live it, not them. Yes, you will get married, you will wear that white dress, drink champagne, look at you marriage license. And then what? To live happily together you don't need proof in the form of a paper. You will live your life not with the evidence but with a man. I suggest that you continue living together (or seeing each other), get to know each other better, develop true feeling, mature, know what you want and thinkg hard before you decide to make such sharp moves in life. Best of luck,
Veronika.

6 Steps to Happiness in Your Relationship

Life, love, and relationship all have their ups and downs. While you hope to live a fulfilled and happy life, you may feel empty and lost at times. You can feel true happiness in life and your relationship right now with these six steps to a happier relationship.

Accept.

Before you can be truly happy, you must first accept where you are in your life and relationship. Rather than focusing on the things that your relationship is missing, focus on the things your relationship has. Rather than focusing on where you thought you'd be in your relationship or life, focus on where you really are at the moment and what you have accomplished thus far to get to that point. Only after you accept where you are and make the most of it, should you then begin to focus on where you want to be and what steps you can take to get to that point. Most of all, learn to be happy with yourself and where you are in the moment.

Learn.

Always remember that you can never know everything and always be willing to learn more. Relationships take work and care. You've probably heard the saying "you can't teach a dog new tricks". Well, it's 100% untrue. Whether you're newly dating, newlyweds, or celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, you should continue to learn "new tricks". Continuously learning new things about your partner, things to spice up your relationship, and more will bring you happiness and joy.

Simplify.

Work towards simplifying your life. Lack of time and resources put tremendous stress and strain on relationships, so the key is to lessen these obstacles. Evaluate your life for tasks, expenses, or other things that over-burden you and take away from your relationship. Instead, schedule time each day for yourself. A little "me" time goes a long way in improving your spirits, making you happier in life and love. Financial stresses are the number cause of divorce these days. Work towards a plan to eliminate financial burdens such as non-essential bills and debts. Without the excess worry that financial instability brings, you'll feel more at ease and happier in life and in your relationship.

Anticipate.

Once you're happy where you are and begin working towards a happier future together, start to anticipate and look forward to that future without it be the sole possibility of happiness. Embrace your hopes and dreams with a newfound happiness that holds the promise of continued happiness throughout your life. Anticipating your future together is like looking out into a clear blue sky with the warmth of the sun embracing you. If you are happy in your life and believe in yourself and the promise of your future, the anticipated happiness of the future will become reality.

Spread Happiness.

Wherever you go throughout your life, continuously spread your happiness, not only with your partner, but with friends, family, and strangers. There's no doubt that you'll have those cloudy days, but the joy of a relationship is that your partner is always there to bring the happiness back. Smile at one another. Laugh together. Spread joy. After you spread the happiness to one another, move outwards. Smile at the person that seems to be feeling down. Give a hug to the person who is crying. Wave at the stranger passing you on the sidewalk. The more happiness you share, the happier you in turn will feel.

Be Thankful.

Always, always, always be thankful for who and what you have in your life. Make sure that your partner knows how truly thankful you are that they are in your life. Take a moment to thank them for doing something for you. To thank them for the cup of coffee. To thank them for those everyday moments that you have together. To thank them for their love. Be thankful for little things that you often overlook. Be thankful for the tough times and the strength that you share that carries you through them. Embrace one another and just be thankful that you have this moment to be thankful together.

Source: http://www.romancestuck.com/articles/marriage/6-steps-to-happiness.htm

15 Tips to Stay Positive in Negative Situations

There are times when we must go through negative situations. Maybe people say something negative about us, or they show rejection or even resentment against us. In such situations, it may be difficult to stay positive. We may be inclined to react negatively to them. That won’t do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse. People may behave even more negatively to us. Our day would be filled with anger and disappointment. At the end, nobody wins.
Though it’s not easy, it’s important to stay positive in negative situations. Beat the negative situations by staying positive. Here are 15 tips on how to do it; pick the ones that work for you:

1. Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don’t respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.
2. Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.
3. Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation.
4. Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”
5. Look at the content of what people say to you for something positive that you can act upon to improve yourself. Don’t just reject the whole messages.
6. For the rest of the messages which is negative, simply ignore it.
7. Maintain positive view of the people. Maybe you don’t like their messages or behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you can hate them personally.
8. Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.
9. If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.
10. If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
11. If you can, listen to motivational audio program to feed positive thoughts into your mind.
12. Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you.
13. Remember your favorite quotes to give you inspiration and motivation. This is one reason why you should have quote of the day.
14. Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be, so you’d better be prepared for them.
15. Realize that you can’t please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go. Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

Source: http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2007/09/10/15-tips-to-stay-positive-in-negative-situations/

Proper Etiquette: How to Be a Lady

I went on a date last week, my first one in ages and everything was going really well until we got to the restaurant. This is where you get to see your date’s manners, and I am afraid mine had none. The waiter, who obviously felt sorry for me, pulled out my chair after I stood for what seemed like an hour. Then, my date proceeded to order wine without asking what my preference was. Finally, he started on his meal before mine arrived. How charming!

I think society has started to lose sight of good etiquette; which is a shame as it is the foundation of good manners .In the first 20 seconds, others will judge your look; in the next 20 seconds, your behavior; and the third 20 seconds, your first words. So I am going to go over the main rules of etiquette, and hopefully you will be a "lady" (a.k.a. A well-mannered Diva) in no time at all.

Rules of Etiquette: Upon Arrival

• Use the accepted phrases: “Please,” “Thank you,” “May I?” “Excuse me,” and “I’m sorry.”

• The woman — not the man — extends a hand and always give a firm handshake.
• A box of chocolates is an appropriate gift when invited for dinner, to be deposited at the entrance with a gift card. Flowers can be sent either just before the dinner or, even better, the following day. Wine is not an appropriate dinner gift. (It assumes that the host does not have good taste).
• Always arrive at a dinner party 15 minutes late.

• Look people in the eyes.

Rules of Etiquette: At The Table

• When you arrive at a luncheon, whether the table is for 2 people or 10, sit down and immediately put the napkin on your lap. The napkin will stay on your lap the entire time you are sitting there, even after the meal is complete. It should never touch the table until you rise to leave.
• Harness the silverware. If you are at an event in which the table is set with multiple utensils, here is a simple trick to remember which to use and when. Start from the outside in, and for each course, use the utensil that is farthest from your plate. If you drop your fork on the floor, ask your waiter for another.
• Only a country bumpkin would say, “Bon appétit” at the start of a meal.

• Foie gras (a delicacy of goose liver) should be eaten with a fork, never spread on bread.

• Don’t reach or grab, just pass. If you want something from the table, such as the salt shaker or the bread basket, and it is not within arm’s length, ask another guest to pass it to you.
• Other rules include not eating until everyone is served, and refraining from wiping your nose or picking your teeth.
• If a woman’s wineglass needs filling, she should play with it until her male neighbor notices and fills it.
• Consume your bread in no less than an eon. Don’t eat your roll like an apple. The courteous way to dine on bread is to tear off a bite-size piece, butter only that morsel, and pop it in your mouth. Chew, swallow, and repeat. It may take a million years to eat your bread, but at least you will look like a lady while doing it.
• Say “yes,” rather than “yeah.”

• Don’t interrupt.

• It is best to avoid using the powder room at all, but if there is absolutely no choice, it must be done discreetly.
• Never use the words “toilette” or “bathroom.” When there is a break — the best time is after dinner when you leave the table — you can ask, very discreetly, “May I wash my hands?”

Rules of Etiquette: When Around Elders

• Always show your elders respect and etiquette will come naturally.

• When calling a friend, identify yourself to the person who answers the phone before asking to speak to your friend. By doing so, the parents or other family member who answer the phone will appreciate this courtesy and see you as friendly.

I could go on and on, but those are a few basic rules of etiquette. Stick to them and you will always make a good impression, and be remembered as a polite, friendly person with impeccable etiquette.

Source: http://www.divavillage.com/article.php?id=31709

Make Your Home Office A Pleasant Place

Make your home office as warm, inviting and comfortable as possible -- that way you'll want to stay until your work is done. Position your desk where it feels most accessible and has adequate room for computer equipment and storage.

Secondly, make sure your home office has good lighting -- you no longer have to succumb to the harsh glare of flourescent office lights! Natural light is ideal for promoting productivity and a sense of calm, but if your room doesn't have windows, use lighting over your desk area to save your eyes from fatigue. Track lighting that can be positioned where you need it is a cost-effective solution.

Stay organized with a variety of storage options. Utilize filing cabinets, bins and bookshelves to ensure you know where things are when you need them (no missed deadlines!) and to keep clutter off of your desk.

And, finally, pay attention to the wall color in your home office. Color has the ability to set the mood of a room, so determine what environment you work best in and the type of work you do, and choose your perfect hue. For example, to imbue energy and vibrancy, select bright shades of yellow or green; for a calmer, more sedate office space, blues and other muted tones work best.

Source: http://www.nbcchicago.com/around_town/real_estate/Make-Your-Home-Office-Work-For-You.html

Use vertical space to your advantage. The best way to reduce clutter in an office and to get papers and other items off the floor and desktop is to go up and use the walls! Add open shelving above your desk and install tall bookcases for additional storage throughout your office. Use colorful magazine files and bins to store less used items close but out of sight on your shelving.

Keep items within reach. Create a semi-circle around you when you sit at your desk within the length of your arm. Place the supplies you use most often inside this space so they will always be within reach when needed. Common items to place within your semi-circle include: phone, writing utensils, active files, notepad, calendar, and, of course, your computer.

Add color to your space. Paint your home office a relaxing color to create a tranquil work environment. Pick your favorite color, something that matches your business, or go with soft colors such as sage green or light blue to provide a sense of peace. Yellow is a great color to brighten up a smaller space.

Create file storage. Utilize a filing cabinet (or two) to store all those client files, contracts, financial documents, and "things to read" that are piled way too high on your floor. Creating a usable filing system will help you keep track of important papers. You may just be able to find those documents next time when you really need them.

Buy a comfortable chair. Many of us underestimate the time we will sit at our desk in a given day or week. Invest in a supportive and comfortable chair to ensure your good posture is protected throughout the day.

Label, Label, Label. To help you find things quickly, create labels for most items in your home office. What if you are out at a meeting and need someone to locate a specific file in your home office to bring to you? Will anyone else be able to find items in your space? Labels also help you remember where to place items when you are done using them since they allow you to define a spot for nearly everything.

Always remember that just because you work from home, that doesn't mean your office space can't be spectacular and impressive. Go ahead and wow your friends and family. Enjoy your home office space every day!

Source: http://biznik.com/articles/make-your-home-office-work-for-you

SWINE FLU - PANDEMIC THREAT!

WHAT IS IT?
Swine flu is a highly contagious respiratory disease in pigs caused by one of the swine influenza A viruses. Outbreaks can occur in pigs throughout the year, but increase during autumn and winter. According to the WHO, occasional cases of swine flu in humans have been reported in the past, ranging from patients with no symptoms to those with severe pneumonia resulting in death.

IS IT A PANDEMIC?
Not yet. The Director-General of the WHO has raised the influenza pandemic alert level for this latest strain of swine flu from 3 to 4 out of a possible six stages. Level 4 is characterised by sustained human-to-human transmission able to cause “community-level outbreaks” and a significant increase in the risk for a pandemic. This means that we have an outbreak and a pandemic is possible but not necessarily inevitable.


WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?
The symptoms are similar to those of normal flu and include fever, coughing, loss of appetite, fatigue, aching muscles and lethargy. The US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says that some people with swine flu have also reported runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

HOW IS IT SPREAD?
According to the CDC swine flu is spread in people either from direct contact with infected pigs, or from contact with infected people in much the same way as other types of flu i.e. coughing and sneezing or touching something with the flu virus on it and then touching your mouth or nose. You can not get swine flu from eating pork or pork products.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?
As with any strain of flu, these basic precautions for staying healthy are recommended:

▶ Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze and throw the tissue away after using it.

▶ Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleansers are also effective.

▶ Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth

▶ Avoid close contact with sick people

WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE FLU

▶ Stay home from work or school and avoid travelling.

▶ If your symptoms persist consult your local GP, especially if you’ve recently come back from holiday or a business trip.

Make This Summer Your Best Ever!

Wake up an hour earlier
Whether it's to meditate, enjoy a lazy breakfast in bed or get active. Research shows that exercise is more effective at improving your mood if you head to the gym in the morning rather than later in the day.

Love your body
Think your stomach could be flatter? Your thighs less wobbly? Using neutral words such as “round” or “soft” instead of “fat” or “flabby” to describe your shape will help you stop judging your body harshly and boost your sense of self-worth.

Buy a bikini
Finding the perfect swimsuit is a summer essential, and the trick is knowing what flatters your figure and wearing it with a big dose of confidence. Try on swim wear as you would lingerie — look for proper shape and support in the cups, with no bulging or gaping. Sit, squat and jump around in the dressing room to make sure it doesn’t ride up or slip off.

Ditch juice fasts
You might have heard they can help you slim down or cleanse your body of harmful toxins, but don’t buy into the hype. There’s simply no scientific evidence to prove that subsisting on juice helps expel waste products from your system. You’ll be denying your body essential nutrients from the foods that you’re not eating, like lean proteins, healthy fats, and whole-grains. And because you’re getting so few kilojoules, you may feel sluggish, dizzy, or irritable — not to mention hungry. You may lose a few kilos, but they’ll return once you start eating real food again.

Try a new sport
Forget the gym — you can sculpt muscle, burn kilojoules and have fun keeping fit outdoors this summer. Try these less conventional fat blasters:

▶ Play beach volleyball 2200kJ
▶ Swim in a dam or lake 1930kJ
▶ Learn fly fishing 1550kJ
▶ Play softball with your kids 1390kJ
▶ Break out the Hula Hoop 1240kJ
▶ Jump on a trampoline 966kJ
▶ Throw a Frisbee 830kJ
▶ Play mini-golf 830kJ

Switch your shampoo
Summer’s salt water, chlorine, extra sweat, and the sun’s UV rays can leave hair brittle and weak. Now’s the time to change to a more hydrating shampoo to keep hair moisturised and soft. To improve shine, rinse hair with the coldest water you can handle after washing.

Wear sunglasses
Choose shades that block both UVA and UVB rays. Research shows that certain foods - like citrus and leafy greens - may help to protect against skin cancer, so make sure you include plenty of these in your meals.

Go Mediterranean
Eat five to six smaller tapas-style meals to keep you feeling fuller and more energised throughout the day. Make sure you include omega-rich foods such as olives, olive oil and fatty fish in these meals as they’ll boost your mood. A US study found that people who included more healthy fats in their diet were less likely to report mild depression. The added bonus? Omega-3 fatty acids can spice up your sex life because they increase the production of dopamine, a brain chemical that enhances pleasure.

Make time for sex
Research has found that sex, not money, wins hands down where happiness is concerned. Want more incentive to steam up your sheets? Research shows that couples who have sex more often — once a week instead of once a month — get an enormous boost in life happiness. The reason? The aftermath of a hot-and-heavy-sex session gives you a rush as potent as any illicit narcotic.

Try a new approach
Many dating books on love and romance advise women to play hard to get, but that may not be the best way to snag “the one”. A US study found that men rated women as even better looking when they were told the women wanted to date them. A woman’s willingness to accept a man into her life affects how that man will perceive her. The bottom line? Let him know you’re into him — you could end up with a partner for life.

Reinvent yourself
Even if it’s just a small change. The happiest and most fulfilled women I know are those who are flexible and allow themselves to change or be reinvented. No, you don’t have to do a 180, but summer’s the perfect time to realise a new you (or a new side of you, at least). It could be as simple as getting a new haircut, or resolving to be the woman who walks into a party and makes a point of getting to know at least two new people.

Star gaze
There’s nothing quite like sitting around a campfire and gazing at the stars to put trivial stresses into perspective. Learning triggers a cascade of biochemicals that gives the brain a feel-good rush. To maximise this effect, expose yourself to something new. And if star-gazing isn’t for you, read that long article you skipped in the newspaper yesterday, or sign up for a new language class.

Make sleep a priority
Trying to accomplish anything without adequate rest can lead to burn out. Cut back on caffeine six hours before bed and do something relaxing like taking a bath or reading to ensure you drift off to sleep quickly. If that doesn’t sound like reason enough to skip staying out until the wee hours of the morning, remember that sleep deprivation has been linked to weight gain.

Be kind to others
Whether it’s helping a frazzled colleague, or buying a coffee for the person in the queue behind you on your morning caffeine run — research shows that doing small good deeds throughout the day will give you a happiness edge. This type of behaviour also has a bunch of other positive spin-offs: it makes you feel good about yourself and it strengthens social bonds, because when you’re generous to others, they appreciate you even more and show their gratitude by being generous to you in return.

Get creative
Have you abandoned your dream of becoming a photographer? Here’s new motivation to dig out that old camera and get snapping. People who engage in something artistic on a weekly basis enjoy a stronger sense of community, feel better emotionally and experience a higher quality of life than those who don’t. So whether it’s needle-work, painting, or playing the trumpet, it’s time to start indulging your creative side.

Relax
Set aside at least 15 minutes a day for no-distractions relaxation to counter work and lifestyle stress. Research shows that people with higher stress levels are more likely to put on weight than their less-anxious counterparts, even if their diet and exercise habits are similar. Chronic anxiety floods your body with the stress hormone cortisol, which triggers appetite (often for sweets and fatty foods) and causes your body to store more of the kilojoules you eat as fat, particularly around your tummy.

Turn envy into inspiration
Do you find yourself turning green when you see women who are in great shape or who seem to be able to juggle a thousand tasks with a smile? Jealousy is self-defeating and can make you seek solace in something potentially destructive, such as alcohol or junk food. Rather than envy her, find out how she did it and try her tips.

Watch your favourite romantic comedy
We already know that laughter’s the best medicine, but even anticipating a laugh can boost feel-good endorphins by as much as 30 percent. What’s more, its effects can last up to 24 hours. Buy your favourite chick flicks on DVD, so you’ll have a mood elevating strategy on stand-by.

Treat yourself kindly
A measure of good mental health is the ability to treat yourself kindly. People with this trait accept everyday disappointments as a natural part of life, rather than as a negative reflection on themselves. The next time you’re tempted to be hard on yourself, think of how you’d respond to a friend in the same boat.

Source: http://www.shapemag.co.za/your_health/your_body/article.php?article_id=261