Dear Veronica

Dear Veronika,
My boyfriend and I (he is 24, I am 23) lived together for half a year, and I realized that it is time for us to talk about a wedding, after all we planned it long time ago. Possibly, I selected not the best moment, because our relationship at that time was a little bit tense. To my surprise, he first said that he does not love me and that he is not ready to get married. Obviously, I left him and from what thought it was over between us. After just a couple of months he called me and asked for forgiveness. However, during the time that we weren't together I acquired new friends, hobbies, and felt stronger overall, maybe because I decided to start life all over again. Nevertheless, I decided to give it another try except that this time I refused to live with him, having him stay with me only so often, prepare dinner and wath tv. I did this so he would feel the difference of being with me but at the same time without me. Recently he asked me to marry him, we set a date and are moving forward with our plans. What disturbs me is that in reality, he doesn't really want to be married, I feel like he did it because of his fear that I would leave him again. What if he changes him mind again? I am confused. Liana

Dear Liana,
You know, life in general is unpredictable. Both people in the relationship undergo changes throughout time. Therefore even if your boyfriend is the one who dragged you to get married, it is no guarantee that you will live an eternal happy family life together. I know one thing: even strong feelings will not insure you against a divorce. Marriage license (just a certificate) will not make either of your lives happier. Therefore I would advise to think thoroughly, why this wedding was necessary to you. In your letter it is quite evident that you do no experience strong and bright feelings towards your man. Then why get married? Just so you can wear a white dress and listen to the wedding march? Or simply because all of your friends are getting married, and therefore it is "time"? Or mom encourages you to do so? Personally, I consider public opinion useless and irrelevant, what's important if your life. You will live it, not them. Yes, you will get married, you will wear that white dress, drink champagne, look at you marriage license. And then what? To live happily together you don't need proof in the form of a paper. You will live your life not with the evidence but with a man. I suggest that you continue living together (or seeing each other), get to know each other better, develop true feeling, mature, know what you want and thinkg hard before you decide to make such sharp moves in life. Best of luck,
Veronika.